Who else is Having a Heart Attack from the ALCS?

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Boston Herald

I’ll admit, I’m a casual baseball fan. You can probably see that through my writings about baseball. I don’t know much about swings or pitching motions or other shit like that. I’m a simple man. I see stats, I see plays, and I can see what are good situations and bad situations. I’m not into the WAR stat or any other nerd stat. I like the Red Sox and I’ve talked enough about them for 10 years to know what I’m talking about.

That being said, my heart last night pumped too quick.  From Mookie, to JBJ, to Kimbrel shitting his pants. Lets take a shallow dip into last nights 5 hour fiasco.

Mookie Betts fan Interference 

Down 2 with a runner on first, Jose Altuve hit a weak ass would be home run. But, a fan interfered. Mookie Betts leaped high enough to get in position to catch that ball; but due to natural human reaction of going for a ball, fatass Joe West saw it fit to call the game-tying home run an out. This is very controversial with people seeming to be split down the middle on whether or not this was an interference. People seem to think there was enough evidence to overturn that call. I don’t see it.

For one, there are never any good camera angles at the wall. NEVER. So the angle we’ve been given is all we’re getting. Beggars can’t be choosers, unless you have a couple thousand for the MLB to supply another camera at each ball park. Second of all, all 3 of the pudgy fans seem to be reaching over the wall, and once fans reach over the wall, touching the ball before it has a chance to make it over the ball, thats fan interference. I don’t know whats so hard to understand about the rule. The dipshits who have sports shows on major networks don’t seem to understand this simple rule. Stick to kissing LeBron’s ass. And finally, third of all, Altuve can’t hit that weak ass potential homer like that. Send it! Don’t put yourself in a situation that lets the refs decide an important play in the game. Lift some weight like Benny Biceps!

Jackie Bradley Jr only Juices when its Important

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Billie Weiss / Red Sox

If you have any sense of humor, you would know I’m kidding and not accusing him of juicing (or am I?)… But if you told me a bum hitter with a .234 batting average and only 13 home runs in 144 games would hit 2 clutch home runs in consecutive games, I would have brought you to a mental institution. If you told me it was off Robert Osuna, who had an ERA of 0 in the ALDS, I think I would have RKO’d you. But man, I seriously never thought I would see this kind of production out of JBJ. I actually despise the guy for his treatment of legend Dennis Eckersley. But his play as of late has been nothing short of outstanding. His defense and offense compliment each other, and at this rate, he’ll have a postseason to remember. He’s playing better than Mookie Betts for the most part. That being said, I would trade him if the time came for the right price, but thats for a different post, on a different day. Sox fans can only hope this keeps up and JBJ doesn’t welt into a pile of crap again.

Mookie Throws out Kemp


I gave you JBJ to give you a break from me dropping my pants and giving it a wiggle over Mookie. His bat might be invisible as of late, but his defense is helping the Sox, just as much as the Astros crapping their pants on a constant basis. Down 3 in the 8th, you would think Tony Kemp would have the idea that any base runner is good, even on first base. Every hit counts. But he got greedy. He didn’t anticipate Betts to scoop and throw a fucking laser beautifully to Bogaerts at 2nd base. Another weak moment for the Astros in a big game. I expected more from the defending world champions.

Betts saved Craig Kimbrel’s ass and if the Sox make t through to the ALCS, he owes Betts a spa day at the least.

Who can Crap Their Pants the Least?

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Billy Weiss / Red Sox

Tony Mazz said it right. Both teams are crapping their pants at alarming rates. But what it comes down to is who craps themselves the least. Their offenses are juggernauts that make even the best pitcher look like Fernando Abad. One pitcher from the Sox that seems to keep giving New England heart attacks is Craig Kimbrel.

The balls on Alex Cora to give Kimbrel, (who’s command looks like that of Stevie Wonder) the ball to get the last 6 outs of the game. Similar to his game 4 performance, Kimbrel had no control over his fastball, or his breaking ball. And if you’ve seen Kimbrel pitch before, his first pitch will tell you he won’t have it that night, and for the past few games he’s entered, its been the case. He almost gave up games vs the Yankees and has given up at least 1 run in each of the 4 games he’s come in for the save; making it into either a 1 run game, or 2 run game each time. He is a lucky man to have Betts and Benintendi making incredible plays. Benintendi made a great diving play with the bases loaded to end the game and stop the bleeding, giving the Sox an unstable 3-1 lead.

I never thought I’d have to worry about Kimbrel. It was always the set up man that had me worried. Now, Kimbrel has lost his command. I’m panicking. HE’s gone 4/4 with saves and I’m panicking. This Red Sox team is weird. I don’t get it. I’m worried about a 108 win team thats 1 win away from clinching a World Series birth. Well, hopefully the Red Sox will break the hearts of those bandwagon Astros fans!

If we call pink hats ‘fake fans’, then most Astros fans art pink hats.

Author: Fredy

I love sports and everything about it. Growing up, my father and I shared an unbreakable bond watching all 4 Boston sports teams winning championships. I hope you enjoy the blogs we write as much as we enjoy writing them for you!