Week 6 has come and gone! Now I’m here to give you the most interesting headlines after this weekend!
Is Mono a Steroid?
Sam Darnold missed 4 games with mono. Yes, the same illness teenagers get. Listen, I’m not one to judge people’s partying lives, but geez, what kind of people are you hanging out with?
Anyway, after missing four weeks with mono, his first game was against the Cowboys. Easy win for ‘America’s team,’ right?
I don’t know what powers mono gave Darnold, but he led the Jets to a 24-22 win by throwing two touchdowns (23/32 on passing) and outplaying Dak Prescott. Maybe this win will get the Jets back on track and get them closer to realizing their playoff aspirations (they’re 1-4 now).
Anyone with mono from now on should be suspended for performance enhancing drugs! No Jets QB should play that well.
Kyle Allen Hasn’t Lost
After an 0-2 start and a nagging foot injury (not good for tall people), Cam Newton was ruled out for 4-8 weeks; in his place is Kyle Allen.
Allen only started once last season in his rookie year, winning a Week 17 game against the Saints where Drew Brees sat.
Now? Allen has started since Week 3 and hasn’t looked back. He’s now 4-0 this season with 7 TDs and 0 INTs. Did he get mono before the season or something?
Now the Panthers are 4-2 and are trending upwards. But they have a problem. Do they start Cam Newton (no TDs and 1 INT in two games this season) who’s been their starter since 2011, or the second-year-QB who has the hot hand?
Allen has proven to be more efficient than Newton and is certainly more complimentary to Christian McCaffrey, who is having an amazing season… But things will get messy once Newton comes back.
Chiefs Lose Again
After a tough loss to the Colts, I think America expected the Chiefs to have a pretty decent game against the Texans. But Deshaun Watson & co. had different plans.
One thing the Patriots did last year did to stop this explosive Chiefs offense is to keep the ball away from them, which is something the league has picked up on; teams have a blueprint against the Chiefs.
The Texans held the ball for 39 minutes and 48 seconds (even with turnovers), while the Chiefs only had the ball for 20 minutes and 12 seconds. Running the ball was huge, as Carlos Hyde had 116 yards, Watson had 42 yards (add 2 TDs), and Duke Johnson had 34 yards. If the Chiefs defense can’t find a way to give the ball back to the offense, it will be a major issue moving forward. Rejoice Patriots fans!
Two weeks in a row of being manhandled, KC is 4-2 and in danger of having to go on the road for the AFCCG. If the season ended today, they’d be in third place playing on Wild Card weekend against the Raiders (I almost had a stroke reading the Raiders are in playoff contention).
I’m not going to even use Mahomes’s injured ankle as an excuse for him. He’s a grown man. QBs around the league have worse injuries and still perform at a high level. Mahomes is now facing regular season adversity. How will he fare? Probably fine, but we can’t use the ankle as an excuse (cough, ESPN!).
San Francisco is Legit
Jimmy G (I’m not spelling that long name, I’ll get hand cramps) and all his glory have led the 49ers to a surprising 5-0 start. Yeah, his numbers aren’t that good but not bad enough to impact the team negatively. The defense has made two straight teams look like donkeys, getting more and more respect along the way. It begs the question: would the internet break with a 49ers vs Patriots Super Bowl?
Student vs. master.
Jimmy G vs. Tom Brady.
Handsome vs. Handsome.
Defense vs. Defense.
Shanahan could possibly get his revenge for 28-3. There’s excitement in the Bay and for good reason!
The Browns are 2-4 after losing to the Seahawks this weekend. Apparently a 14-point lead wasn’t enough for them and they decided to shit their own pants. Specifically, their defense suddenly shit their pants and the offense stopped functioning, being outscored 26-8 after the beginning of the second quarter.
Is Baker Mayfield still feeling dangerous?